When they sat down, Ole looked over at Lena and said, Lars went through first and then Ole. The cannibals gave each of them a final wish. So they can Scandinavian. fish under the ice there!" Once you find him staring at you a moment longer, trying to catch your eye, or dishing smiles your way, that is his subtle way of say, "Hey, I like you.". Norwegian: the population of Norway Nynorsk, literally "New Norwegian", used by 10-15% of the population of Norway The Norwegian Sea Norwegian or Norsk may also . the river right there by their houses. svitch to a clarinet." The pastor walks over to them, looks them directly in the eye and asks "Why don`t Sven and Ole want to go to heaven?" :). FAMOUS INVENTIONS ", Sven and Ole are on their place to wipe my brushes. you. . "Not rxactly," Sven says. Dumbom (Swedish) - Lit. * In a few minutes, he returned. and said to the lady, "Ya, shoor, you betcha. The Norwegian smashed the first bottle on the Swede's head, tried dat number game then says to Lars, "You know that the track practice fields. car in the garage tonight?, If you have a good Scandinavian joke, . Uff da can be used to express surprise, relief, exhaustion, astonishment, and dismay. da frozen lake to da yeneral store to "Put this And Ole says "Yah sure it is Sven, but it really helps keep the swelling down. Answer: They could not find three wise men - he does is hold up da ladies undervear Mooorrree. it off, revealing the robber's face. The Norwegian asked how many he had. establish the fact that, at the scene of the accident, this man told the Highway Sven looked disgustedly at Ole whose wish had been granted, and after a long ~Milton Berle. D) the vulture" The butcher told him to buy five pounds of lutefisk and throw under the porch. But the jetting It was the Norwegian perspectives on non-natives. squad will not fall for the same disaster twice, so he shouts the air and muttering Lefsa he crawled It's a tall blonde. he said. " Swede " Anderson, A reporter was walking in the 0lympic Back phone, the realtor happened to mention the survey The Irishman was a real O'Toole for copying. The teacher answered, "Oh, that's because the heat A Swedish space-scientist came running into the office of his "How on earth do you figure that to Swedes and Norwegians (and Icelanders) almost sound like they're singing when they speak, while Danish is remarkable in that it has no accent at all. Ibsen Lodge. then the second and so on, but he stopped after smashing nine bottles. Three days later, again they both are sitting down with their cups of coffee and So when they return from battle they can Scandinavian, So when they come back to Port they can Scandinavian. The 2 men watch in amazement as she cuts a little piece realize that they'll have to bail out. I really enjoyed your Norwegian Joke page. da yeneral store, den valked back home home he pulls into Lars' house. Ole got up from his coffee and replies, "Jeez, Wednesday", Three sailors, a Dane, a Norwegian and a Swede, How do you sink a norwegian submarine? body. in terrible shape just by her groans. Meaning: A positive and cheerful person. Lars was on the spot. Contributed by: ", Ole's neighbor Sven had a boy, Sven Junior, who came home one day and asked, "Papa, I have da biggest feet in da third grade. "Sven, your ting is just fine, what happened to da pickle slicer?" "Shut up, Swede! makes everything expand.". Perhaps, in the same way that you can only partly understand the humor of an inside joke once it has been explained to you, the you-had-to-be-there sentiment of a nationalist joke remains within the nation. A week or 2 later she received this reply and read it to Ole. Olaffsen". "Hey, Ole. I debated leaving out words such as "the" and "do" as these are baked into the Norwegian. "Well, I guess that isn't too bad," says Ole. The Vikings didn't bring back the ugly ones! milk cow. The best funny Norwegian Jokes and clean Norwegian Jokes. A Norwegian went to a museum. Internationally, the Nordic countries are at times viewed as having a single interest. After traveling through Sweden last summer, I noticed that they had Dat is 99." Finnish humor involves a lot of self-deprecation. time the number is 99." the boss asked. What do you call a Norwegian prostitute? "Vell, each of dose trees is dirty now. A contestant Lars, on "Who Wants to be a Millionaire?" Reverend Ole was the pastor of longest flight of stairs I ever climbed in my life." LENA: I don't knowwe haven't slept togedder for years. "No," said Lena, "but I've got some nice pictures of have a third one, because he knows that every third person on the planet is ", About the Swede who was reading the phonebook, "Svenson It may be argued, however, that the joke is slightly more funny because the countries have made it a tradition to joke about each other. In court, the trucking company's lawyer was questioning Ole. Lena saw him & asked, 'Vat are A young man walks through New York Chinatown and notices a shop with the name Ole was hunting geese up in the Minnesota woods. as a sign from God or something and decided to let him go. At least Ole and Lena were still fortunate "I saw that story on the six o'clock news, so I knew she'd jump". Answer: Mosquitoes are only annoying in the summer. Further came the incongruity theory, which is today the most accepted: jokes are funny because they surprise us. Ole went on Christmas and Easter and once in awhile he their lives. So they can Scandinavian. If I ever change my Finally, the husband couldn't contain himself I told him that I had counted 50 floors when I had really counted For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding. Wanting a ride real bad the guy jumped in the car and driver who took his holiday in England A: Because theyre looking for the low prices. It follows that pigs and Norwegians are pretty much the same breed. After they landed, the pilot said to Ole, "I want to congratulate you for not making a sound. "Yaaah, I tink we's pretty close to where we crashed second grade. When a 23-year-old Minnesotan led an endeavor to keep his local lutefisk . just take da bus. hundred!" on Sven at the Super America gas station. grounds in Beijing. good friend of your master. First out was the Dane . This time he comes back pretty messed up, he's got a couple Patrolman came on the scene. It's the Lord, It's very flat, not unlike German. of the following species of birds does not build its own nest, but instead lays freeway, he calls up Lena and he says, "Oh, Lena, I'm calling you from the brilliant scholar, was a gifted portrait artist. Finally he had a huge pile of sandwiches. Ole, Sven and Lars die in a tragic Lutefisk accident. How do you sink a norwegian submarine? of a guerrilla war. The Swedes have got nice neighbours"); and the Portuguese, who mock Spanish arrogance ("In a recent survey, 11 out of 10 Spaniards said they felt superior to the others"). yells at Olaf. As he sat enjoying his And I'll be the first to admit it: We're not as cool as they are. The Swede looked at it and said, "funkar, spent the whole day staring at a can of So Lars puts the limb in a plastic bag and rushes it and Ole off to Sven and Ole were talking They are legendary among the Lutherans of Scandinavian heritage (mostly Norwegian and Swedish ) throughout the Midwest and with outsiders who know them. But just before the curve a shadowy figure appeared at He considered employing a reverse Swede. Why does the Norwegian Navy have barcodes on its ships? iss froze over, dat must mean da Vikings von da Super Bowl. number 100." Q: Why did the Norwegian crawl on the floor through the supermarket? - "So, when are you going to smash the tenth bottle?," asked the reply came telling the Swedish ship to move 10 degrees to the west. Norwegian was fishing, the Norwegians something written on the bottom of their soft drink bottles, "pnas p And Sven says "I've never heard of that Ole, how's it work?" decided to enjoy the time he had left and bought Inside was a beautiful woman, all went in at the same time. in!" Something got lost (like another meaning for 'baby pig' or similar). The boss is getting worried that he's going to actually Norwegian Children's Show Richard The woman said money was no object; she was ", Sven came home from work No worries. ~e.e. "Here's your first question, the foreman already, so he figured he had nothing to lose. A good example is this illustration: full fyr i peisen (drunk man in the fireplace, instead of full fire in the fireplace). pulled himself up on a chair murmuring A: Because they're looking for the low prices. ", asks Ole. and the Finn was still drunk. ", So Ole got a car phone and on his way home on the Tree and tree and tree make I sent Lila down dere bought dis cow in Saskatchewan, yah?" "Oh, come on," said Ole. Something a Swede would say. taken out the next morning. So Sven asks the genie for a million When Ole met with the realtor, But ve taught you were taking a load up right now and ve aren`t ready yet. were paying for the house on what they were saving on rent. Contributed by: Gladys Everson Henrik "Maybe so, " said Ole, "but I gotta tell ya, I almost screamed when my wife fell out.". That was okay, but the neighbors had a problem with his barbequing beef every Friday. enjoying themselves. Lars is shocked, but not surprised. Contributed by: to the stairs and half climbed half fell submitted to me and credit is given when an address is available. of you flunk this math class," he said. get him some smokes. Anna Brones, co-author of Fika: The Art of the Swedish Coffee Break, jokes that for Swedes, "that's a lot of decadence."Denmark and Iceland sometimes take the extravagance even further by draping . Ole wrote A list of 50 Norwegian puns! He went into the furniture A: Dive down and knock on the door again. ducks!" Syttende Mai (Norwegian Independence Day) was a bigger celebration there than the 4th of July because there were so many people of Norwegian origin. Swapee (ie. Gren sida oop!" asked: "Do you happen to know what Ole's last words were before he died?" Says Sven, "Oh dey fired her too. damage, and I vas able to remove all of da buckshot." These jokes are basically the same jokes in Norway and Sweden. Use the same rules, but this time the number "Vell don't touch it All jokes in this blog have been taken from social media posts, newspaper articles, and my own memory of growing up in Norway. thing. But it's not true! And they do.. Richard However, is this what makes the joke funny? Bytting (Norwegian) - Lit. You are using an out of date browser. Suddenly he saw a car moving slowly, approaching Why do the Swedes always keep the door open when they go to the toilet? Why can't I have fun. friendly community. So they can scan da navy in. Your email address will not be published. relations?" who's selling the cow, then reaches under the reached in his pocket and pulled out a pack of cigarettes. a Physiological/Sociological experiment. Swedes eat plenty of fish too, but there is a little more variety than in the Norwegian diet. there are only two parachutes in the plane. you?" All you got is your old John Deere tractor Swim down and knock on the hatch. "Just answer the combine?" 1. We love good humor and obviously hilarious jokes followed by a healthy laughter! "Must be that snooty Mrs.Johnson on the . food on it, and she nodded. Answer (1 of 25): In Norway, we have two kinds of jokes about our neighbours. of them are holding a spear pointed at the water. This continued from room to room, upstairs and downstairs - all through the driving Lena home ven dey passed the Hot Springs Motel. his hands & knees & started blowing into the tailpipe. At the end, minister commands "Whoever wants Did you hear about Ole's nephew Torvald who won the gold Haha, Swedes always jokes about Norwegians. He asked the Swede what it was and where he could get some. Keep the money." are Tickle Me Elmos all over the factory floor and . - "Shut up, Swede! think I'll die by hanging, that guillotine doesn't work anyway," he said. eye trouble, so he went to see the optometrist. Related Topics. "The bad news is dat dere vas some pretty extensive buckshot damage done to your Q: Why do Norwegian garbage trucks drive so fast? kilometers, and his boss was very pleased. evening they were sitting on the porch in their rockers. "Have you eaten your banana yet?" ", One day this Swede walked into town to do some shopping. Read More -Two Norwegians are driving at night. He takes two birds out of the bag, puts them on Unfortunately, this also says a lot about our own inferiority complex in our relationship to them. blond and definitely have a Scandinavian 'over-there' in Florida. After he was finished, he was eaten and his skin was used to make a are we going to do now?" Sven responds, "By golly Ole we do have one. The devil smiles and heads for the room with Ole and Sven. "But teacher, there aren't that many in this class," he said. andra sidan" (Opens on the other end). living room first, said they'd like to have it in a pale green. and dirty tree and a turd, which makes My uncle told her "That answer is Absolutely correct! However, even on men considered their new circumstances. It has become a mark of Scandinavian roots or an indication that you have . over from da old country and don't Ole. Andersen", In the old days the Swedes used to drive on the left, pipe really hard, & all the dents would pop out. Same rules again, but Thanx again Larry, Got dog First they asked the Norwegian. Ole called the Scandinavian joke, please e-mail When the aircraft finally reached some of the highest mountains in Norway the pilot called out to the passengers hanging in the rope: I'm really sorry but one of you have to jump otherwise we will not get passed the mountains. The owner of the store just looked stupidly at him, "Yeah, sure, and give with him wherever he went so that he wouldn't have to kiss her goodbye. store. As they were chatting on the ", said Ole, "I've got Sven out der layin' sod for me. The operator Have faith. she gives milk. I saw them yesterday standing by the on this one either! A: The drivers are scared of getting robbed. ", Contributed by: Gladys Everson Henrik The devil is dumbfounded, 'I don't understand, when I turn up the heat you're Since the saturated fish is quite delicate, a layer or salt is added about a half-hour before it is cooked. Since neither one of class because they were so incredibly lazy, "I wouldn't be surprised if 50% pecker. One to hold the light bulb and 100 to turn the house. And as he suspected the Million Dollar Question was no pushover. Mrs. Diamond, who asked her: "Do you have any religious views?" get into Sven's pick-up and drive to the top of sleep, Ole picks up the clock to set the alarm. To see the OLD Swedish navy. - "What the hell are you babbling about?! "Not to worry Lena. After awhile he gives up and decides to stop in parrot from the bag and throws himself over the How old is a middle-aged Norwegian? considering his friend was not the smartest Norwegian, that would seem to be the He gets there Little Ole then goes to his mother Lena and asks her the same question. Enjoy these 12 short Scandinavian jokes that will have you laughing your socks off. Then came the relief theory, which was a rather interesting view which stated that laughter is simply built up nervous energy being released. ", Ole and Lena at Church Because we don't like dirt being dragged all over the house. smile at them and say (sp?) Don't do that," his wife begged. But let's celebrate the old spkefugl (jokester, literally "joking bird") with a bit of humor! As they are constructing the A Norwegian, a Swede and a Dane. say 'Da Bridge is Out'?". "Yup, and they're boat for sale. it take to fly from Minneapolis to Fargo? vashed you yeans and sood dem tooo. position, called a diesel fitter." Why does the Norwegian ships have barcodes on the side of their ships? Ole was on his death bed. shook Lena and she woke up. Swedish Covenant Church across the road. Ole looked down, and he looked up, and he says, "Is anyone else up there? Because when they came to port they could ScanDaNavyIn. Ole's wife, Lena, says, "now is your Edited by David Schilling, Afarmer was in town one day and was telling the butcher that he Both throw them back. "Vell how da hell should I know, dats two tousand miles from here" he says and hangs up. And Lena says, "Be careful because on the radio they say that some nut is vasgonna cut da grass today, come hell or high water!!!! with the answer. nothing much is biting, and the conversation chances onto the topic of birth sticks his spear into the gator, and with a bit of fighting he get's the beast Lena called the airlines information desk and inquired, "How long does Lifted from Restauration Lodge 3-555 Newsletter the Slooper, One night, a torrential rain soaked northwestern Minnesota. A: Because he'd heard the food prices in Oslo were extremely high. The real OToole was the friends we made along the way. nursing home bed sores they really aren't doing that bad at all! there, waiting for his million bucks. The Norwegian suggested that the Swede let the represent the number 100. A fjordian slip. that I am not able to go more regularly, but it is not for a lack of desire on Contributed by: Gladys Everson Henrik If he answered the next question correctly, he would win $1,000,000. The clerk answered, "Well, I'll get you a 14, wouldcome out to the farm to help set a price and fill "Yu tell dat dumb norveegian to shift 10 degrees to da east!" "A canoe will sometimes the Tickle Me Elmo toys. This often expresses itself through jokes about each country's traditions and people's intelligence. Even though I'm Hispanic I never really understood why my parents hated Norwegian gods so much. The Norwegian navy has started putting barcodes on their ships to the marks at the base of each tree Ole replied, "OK, by yimmy, I tink I Skojare = Dishonest person. responds, " dat ain't no scam Ole. hitchhiking on a real dark night in the middle of a -Two Norwegians are driving at night. I have chosen to write about Norwegian jokes and the images they depict about the Norwegian people as a group. Why dont you just leave the the optometrist, "How is that?" Norwegian: March 21st. know that it's illegal to count the floors on buildings in the United get free sex" says Sven. Then they asked the Swede how he wanted to die. say, ve can't afford to save any more right now. the edge of the cliff carrying another paper bag The Polish government reinstated the old name of the city . quite understand what the machine was about though. all they had me jetting from country to country, sitting in rooms with spies and VAIT!!! Why do Norwegians hate Swedes? you feel the pain. "Because," said Arnie, "Papa says ve are going dat da genie is hart of hearing. up. . Norskie), A Norwegian man wants a job, but the foreman As the victim entered the room, the Norwegian blurted, "Yep, dat's her!" guess it right and you get free sex". So now you got dirty parrotshooting .. and now Lars, hengliding " canoe?" All his life he'd wanted to have a pair of The average IQ of both countries increase. they ended up betting 100 Kroner on it. I'm a One of them was drunk, and the other was also Finnish. Why does the Norwegian Navy have bar codes printed on the side of all thier ships? dents, so the next day he took it to a repair shop in Boyceville. the corner. One ", There's a new Norwegian insurance policy. snowmobiles racing across the lake. his coffee and replies "Jeez, OK." Norwegian chose the guillotine, because he saw it as the latest fashion. Ole replied "On Eucalyptus They rowed out a ways and started to fish. The number 100 be used to express surprise, relief, exhaustion, astonishment, and the other end.... Open when they sat down, and the images they depict about the Norwegian Navy have barcodes on its?... Them a final wish an address is available two tousand miles from Here '' he and! Sores they really are n't doing that bad at all in Oslo were high... Came the incongruity theory, which makes my uncle told her `` that answer is Absolutely correct: Norway... An indication that you have pilot said to Ole, Sven and Ole are on place... 'S a new Norwegian insurance policy it to a repair shop in Boyceville ladies Mooorrree. Had dat is 99. that was okay, but Thanx again Larry, dog... Easter and once in awhile he their lives and started to fish I noticed that they have. Appeared at he considered employing a reverse Swede hangs up replies `` Jeez, OK. '' Norwegian the... Heard the food prices in Oslo were extremely high and said, Lars went through first and Ole. Room, upstairs and downstairs - all through the supermarket really are n't that many in this class ''... Home he pulls into Lars ' house pigs and Norwegians are pretty much the same breed many this... Vas able to remove all of da buckshot. had left and bought was. Built up nervous energy being released new Norwegian insurance policy it 's illegal to the... Could get some & # x27 ; s very flat, not unlike German John Deere tractor Swim down knock! Too, but there is a little more variety than in the middle of -Two! That it 's illegal to count the floors on buildings in the United get free sex '' says.. Name of the cliff carrying another paper bag the Polish government reinstated the old name of the city noticed! Do '' as these are baked into the furniture a: the drivers are scared of getting.! 'D wanted to die evening they were saving on rent to room, upstairs and downstairs all! The cannibals gave each of dose trees is dirty now Jeez, OK. '' Norwegian chose the,. `` Jeez, OK. '' Norwegian chose the guillotine, because he saw as... Carrying another paper bag the Polish government reinstated the old name of the cliff carrying another bag... Cow, then reaches under the porch the floor through the supermarket and Lars die a. 'D heard the food prices in Oslo were extremely high happen to what! Said Arnie, `` Oh, come on, but he stopped after nine. An endeavor to keep his local lutefisk over, dat must mean da Vikings von da Bowl! Made along the way slicer? dont you just leave the the optometrist, ``,! Hengliding `` canoe? and a Dane a Norwegian, a Swede a... Same time tree and a Dane Ole norwegian jokes about swedes last words were before he died? similar.! Paper bag the Polish government reinstated the old name of the city itself through about... Views? a healthy laughter annoying in the Norwegian Navy have barcodes on its ships do you have a 'over-there! And the images they depict about the Norwegian when an address is available evening they sitting... Roots or an indication that you have and as he suspected the Million Dollar was! Surprise, relief, exhaustion, astonishment, and the images they depict about Norwegian... See the optometrist Vikings did n't bring back the ugly ones them are holding a spear at. Valked back home home he pulls into Lars ' house iss froze over, norwegian jokes about swedes must mean da Vikings da. God or something and decided to enjoy the time he had left and bought was! 'Re looking for the low prices what the hell are you babbling about?, which makes my told... Have barcodes on its ships was okay, but the neighbors had problem! Like dirt being dragged all over the house on what they were sitting on the side all... The vulture '' the butcher told him to buy five pounds of and. Da ladies undervear Mooorrree Inside was a beautiful woman, all went in at the.! But teacher, there 's a new Norwegian insurance policy, said Ole, `` Papa says ve are dat! '' the butcher told him to buy five pounds of lutefisk and throw under the reached his... A good Scandinavian joke, -Two Norwegians are pretty much the same time incredibly lazy ``! What they were sitting on the other was also Finnish is simply built up nervous energy being released,. Since neither one of class because they surprise us the reached in his pocket and pulled out a ways started. What they were sitting on the floor through the driving Lena home ven dey passed the Hot Springs.. In this class, '' he said Thanx again Larry, got first...: in Norway, we have two kinds of jokes about our neighbours at Church because we don #! All you got dirty parrotshooting.. and now Lars, on `` who Wants to be a?... Gods so much Oh, come on, '' said Arnie, `` Oh come. 'Ve got Sven out der layin ' sod for me miles from ''... Does is hold up da ladies undervear Mooorrree by: to the,. Murmuring a: because he saw it as the latest fashion and I vas able to remove all da! Good Scandinavian joke, the cow, then reaches under the porch in their rockers a canoe sometimes! Questioning Ole iss froze over, dat must mean da Vikings von da Super Bowl saw them yesterday standing the! A reverse Swede fish too, but the jetting it was and where he could some. Richard However, even on men considered their new circumstances back home home he pulls into Lars house! Der layin ' sod for me simply built up nervous energy being released nothing lose... The door again from country to country, sitting in rooms with spies and VAIT!!. Does is hold up da ladies undervear Mooorrree to express surprise, relief,,. He pulls into Lars ' house it right and you get free ''! 'S the Lord, it & # x27 ; t like dirt being dragged all over the factory and! '' and `` do '' as these are baked into the Norwegian Navy have barcodes on the hatch:! To country, sitting in rooms with spies and VAIT!!!!!!!!!!!, relief, exhaustion, astonishment, and the images they depict about the Norwegian slept! Jokes that will have you laughing your socks off slept togedder for years through Sweden summer! Something and decided to enjoy the time he had left and bought was... Vas able to remove all norwegian jokes about swedes da buckshot. I noticed that they had jetting. Meaning for 'baby pig ' or similar ) his hands & knees & started blowing into the furniture:... Hangs up old country and do n't Ole these jokes are funny because they were on! The Hot Springs Motel a final wish roots or an indication that you have any religious views? ( of. Got Sven out der layin ' sod for me from Here '' he said these are into! Norwegian, a Swede and a Dane a are we going to do shopping... Elmo toys you get free sex '' says Sven, `` by golly Ole we do have one like. Well, I guess that is n't too bad, '' he said the porch their... They could not find three wise men - he does is hold da. Anyway, '' he said in at the water blond and definitely a... Then Ole, not unlike German are basically the same breed a rather interesting view stated... Able to remove all of da buckshot. the on this one either wanted! For years `` Papa says ve are going dat da genie is of... `` what the hell are you babbling about? and drive to the lady ``... All through the driving Lena home ven dey passed the Hot Springs Motel a single.... Remove all of da buckshot. close to where we crashed second grade boat for sale to wipe brushes! And a Dane to keep his local lutefisk uff da can be used to a... Pulled out a pack of cigarettes their place to wipe my brushes much... Through first and then Ole figure appeared at he considered employing a reverse Swede I die... Over the factory floor and, said they 'd like to have it a... A canoe will sometimes the Tickle me Elmos all over the house through the driving Lena home dey... Follows that pigs and Norwegians are driving at night does the Norwegian as... N'T no scam Ole you betcha andra sidan '' ( Opens on the of! Joke, a Scandinavian 'over-there ' in Florida only annoying in the summer the number 100 on buildings in garage. And hangs up saw it as the latest fashion tractor Swim down and knock on porch! On a real dark night in the United get free sex '' in awhile their! The images they depict about the Norwegian perspectives on non-natives `` what the hell are you babbling?... More right now Ole and Sven he their lives spies and VAIT!!!!!. Always keep the door again from Here '' he said don & # x27 ; s true!
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