I can walk into NBC tomorrow and say I have a dysfunctional family idea. Duchess:Oh, no, no. Woody: This is the perfect time to panic! O'Malley: [sighs] Duchess, there's something I need to ask you. I'm tryin'to get to shore. Georges Hautecourt: Wha--? (onscreen)Please introduce yourselves to him, darlings. Abigail: And you, dear,you take this place. WebPolice have not yet found the missing baby of runaway aristocrat Constance Marten and her rapist lover Mark Gordon - and have applied for 36 hours more to quiz them.. [The Walt Disney Masterpiece Collection logo appears]. Absolutely. Evening, Edgar. They show aristocatic bearing. Brian Cummings: Coming this summer, join Kermit and his new friend Billy Bunny in their very first Muppet sing-along video: "Billy Bunny's Animal Songs". Yeah. Georges Hautecourt:Adelaide,what's that music? And other poems by Maya Angelou. Art treasures,jewels and--. Amelia: You will never learn to swim properlywith that willow branch in your mouth. ln trouble! Billy Boss: Ha-ha! WebIts an opportunity for the grossest part of a comics brain to go wild. A family walks in to Duchess: So, why won't you join us,Monsieur Roquefort? South Park Archives is a FANDOM TV Community. Duchess: You know something,Thomas, your friends arereally delightful. Would you agree with that? Edgar opens the door. The film was created by penn jillette with paul provenza and was released in 2005. It relates the story of a family trying to [Hiccupping]Look. The horse blocks the road. Why, I'll, I'll eatmy hat if they-- My hat! Nice doggy! [ Forced Chuckle ]Every time. You are most fortunatewe happened along. O'Malley: Oh, thank you. - What? Roquefort: Oh, it's a sad dayfor all of us. . Even if the punchline was the 1%, the joke would. Lafayette: Hey, Napoleon! [after Wendy Liebman describes a normal family act]. Hey,Mr. O'Malley, how much farther is it? That's how Otto Peterson: My son comes out, I shoot him in the head, and then I F*** the bullet hole! [After the Walt Disney Pictures logo, silent clips of "Aladdin" and "Aladdin 2" are shown]. Toulouse:[offscreen]I told ya it was Edgar. Use your karate chop action! Don't shush yourold Uncle Waldo! Darlings,now you just stay here,and I'll go and I'lllook for Toulouse. Oh, oh--Oh, Uncle Waldo,you're just too much. [Chuckling] Now this calls for another cracker. Madame Adelaide Bonfamille: [voice]Yes, Georges. Roquefort:It's notreally hard, Berlioz. So the talent agent says, "All right, you've got two minutes." They're gone! Then the father and son take the baby and start stuffing it head-first back into the mother's vagina, while the daughter's piss rains down on all of them. Mark Elliott: "Aladdin" showed you an entire new world. And that was my vacation. [ Singing ]Everybody wantsto be a catBecause a cat's the only catwho knows where it's at, O'Malley [ Spoken ] Tell me about it! Hop aboard the motorcycle. I like Uncle Waldo. Mark Elliott: The third and final chapter of the emotional trilogy. They showaristocatic bearing. Where's my hat? We need a man around the house. This kitten cat knows where it's at! [Laughing]You're making it very difficult. While Madame and Georges are asleep. I know it's Georges. And this time, ha,you'll never come back. I'm doin' fine! You just hide over there and youleave the rest to J. Thomas O'Malley. Get her! [Then we see the torn and tattered Quasimodo close the cathedral doors, transitioning to the Feast of Fools]. Phenomenal. Duchess: Marie, darling. Oh. In The Aristrocrats, Saget stole the show with one of the filthiest jokes ever committed to film. Scat Cat tosses a bucket of water over Edgar's head. And I'm gonna shine my shoes with my vagina juices, put 'em back on, tap-tap-tap, do a split, and that's the act! Duchess? Alright? (2x) Oh, Marie, are you all right? O'Malley: You know something? In 2005, bob saget, who died sunday, was still americas dad the sweet. WebThe Aristocrats "The Aristocrats" (also called "The Debonaires" or "The Sophisticates" in some tellings) is a taboo-defying off-color joke that has been told by numerous stand-up I simplywish to have the cats inherit first. It's showtime! And when we get to Paris,I'll show you the time of your life. Oh, ooh, ooh! Kyle: [after Cartman finishes the joke] I don't get it. Abigail:We're not chickens. What do you call the act?" Get out! I mean it's surprising they haven't that they're not all in jail! Roquefort: Don't come in! Even if the punchline was the 1%, the joke would. Madame Adelaide Bonfamille: Of course, Frou-Frou,I almost forgot. Napoleon: Wait a minute. Edgar Balthazar: Morning, Frou-Frou,my pretty steed. That feels good,Lafayette. Tsk! Mark Elliott: Walt Disney Home Video invites you back into the world where toys come to life. [ Chuckles ]Not as spry as I waswhen I was 80, eh? Possibly a reprobate. O'Malley: Trouble? Like he wants to know, like the name's the important thing! Ready, everyone? Sounds like Scat Cat andhis gang have dropped by. I'm the leader. We meanfar more to her than that. That's onlya little frog, my love. Duchess: [offscreen] It's time to practiceyour scales and your arpeggios. Georges Hautecourt: And how we celebrated your success! Penn Jillette: What do you call an act like that? It begins, traditionally, with a family that auditions for a talent agency. Which pets get to sleepon velvet mats? Edgar Balthazar: Oh, they won't find a clueto implicate me. Now, Toulouse, you goand start on with your painting. Good. My grandfather is the jockey, comes in third and paid $2.80! [The workers take the trunk and drive away. [Birds Chirping,Rooster Crowing ln Distance], O'Malley: (offscreen) I like a chee-chee-chee-chee-ronyLike they make at homeOr a healthy fishwith a big back boneI'm (appears) Abraham de LacyGiuseppe CaseyThomas O'MalleyO'Malleythe alley catI've gotthat wander lustGotta walk the sceneGotta kick uphighway dustFeel the grassthat's greenGotta strutthem city streetsShowin' off my eclatYeahTellin'my friendsof the social eliteOr some cute catI happen to meetThat I'mAbraham de LacyGiuseppe CaseyThomas O'MalleyO'Malley the alley cat. There's no legal system at all in play in a joke. It says here. [Humming"Rock-A-Bye-Baby"]. Shun Gon: Shanghai, Hong Kong, egg foo young[ Laughing ]Fortune cookiealways wrongThat a hot one! Bakin' Bacon with Macon YOU HAVE OUTSTRETCHED YOURSELF WHEN YOU'RE DOING IT RIGHT, ON MAKING IT AS HORRIFIC AS YOU CAN. Then, at the endof their life span,my entire estatewill revert to Edgar. More details are available in the progress report. His chin isvery weak too. Its an opportunity for the grossest part of a comics brain to go wild. Not bad,eh, Frou-Frou old girl? You never miss. We're doing our best to make sure our content is useful, accurate and safe.If by any chance you spot an inappropriate comment while navigating through our website please use this form to let us know, and we'll take care of it shortly. [The screen flashes again, but this time with the white screen fading to a black background with text saying "Coming to Theaters Summer 1996"]. Edgar, come quickly! Very good. To my cats. We chased four motorcarsand a bicycle and a scooter. Criminiddly! Now, Marie's the caboose. I'll think of a way. Smile. Pretty soon, all of them are completely naked including the dog, who takes his leash off.. Hamm: Hey, heads up, everybody. "Oh, we're N*gger C*nts. Abigail: Gracious me. Poppycock, man! Let's see. O'Malley: Well, now, uh--What I meant-- You see, l--. Mysterious Cat-napperAbducts Family of Cats." Berlioz: [Yelps, Needle Scratching,Music Slows]. Oh! Two cats throw a harness from the hay loft, encircling him. [offscreen]Toulouse? [ Humming ]Ta-ra-ra-boom-de-ayTa-ra-ra-boom-de--Oops! Police have not yet found the missing baby of runaway aristocrat Constance Marten and her rapist lover Mark Gordon - and have applied for 36 hours more to quiz them.. Funny Knock Knock Jokes To Tell Your Friends. Ah, Georges. Wendy Liebman: The Cocksucking Motherf***ers. We want to hear it. The setup, always the same, begins with a family pitching an act to a talent agent. [2] When told to audiences who know the punch line, the joke's humor depends on the described outrageousness of the family act.[3][4]. Berlioz: [sighs] It's really hard to pronounce your name, man. O'Malley: Show you the way? If we're going to Paris ourselves, why don't youjoin us? The details of the joke change with every telling (and O'Malley:Boy, your eyesare like sapphires. Come on! Old picklepuss Edgar! Oh, no! Georges Hautecourt: Am I going too fast for you, Edgar? [baby begins to cry] Yeah I didn't like it that much myself. You've got it! Double delicious! Genghis Kahn, for god sakes. [Smacking Lips]Delicious! O'Malley: Well, they're kind a rough,you know, around the edges,but if you're ever in a jam, wham,they're right there. Georges Hautecourt: Let go of my cane, man! Madame Adelaide Bonfamille: [offsceen] Oh, come now, Georges. A family walks in to a talent agency. and the father goes, "Watch us." Answer me please. Right off your cuff. [Clips of "The Many Adventures of Winnie the Pooh" are shown]. Whoo-whoo! Amelia: Oh! Whee! ", T. Sean Shannon: "Well, you can't say that.". Gilbert Gottfried: And then the talent agent says, "That's awful. Hmm? The Aristocats! Jon Stewart: Um Yeah, I think it's best if we don't break it down. How are you doing that? O'Malley: Well, humans don't really worrytoo much about their pets. Duchess: Marie! Genie Chorus: [singing] They're eventually getting married at the festivalof Agrabaahhhh!!!! Oh, no. Let's hurry. Now, run along downstairs. He says, "Wow, that sounds good, what do you call this act?" Hugo: Pour the wine and (farts with his armpit 3 times) cut the cheese! The Magic Oracle: Follow the trail of the Forty Thieves. You know, your country chateau? Mark Elliott: Introducing Pixar and "Disney's Animated Storybook: Toy Story" on CD-ROM. Oh, no! [chuckling] Just like you say, Thomas. Abigail: So first, you must gainself-confidenceby striking outon your own. Abigail: He takes to waterlike a fish, doesn't he? After the punchline, Kyle says he doesn't get the joke, to which Cartman responds, "Neither do I.". Edgar Balthazar:You came back? [Grunting]Lafayette. I do believeyou've been drinking. Toulouse: Don't worry, mama, we will. That ain't. Frogs: [singing] There's so much to say, but we have all day. [Screen fades to reveal more clips] Aladdin and Jasmine's dreams are eventually coming true. Now the mother lays down on her back on the floor while the daughter gets up high on a chair and starts pissing all over. O'Malley: Come on, Duchess. Ho, ho, ho! The acts described involve incest, pedophilia, sodomy, coprophilia, coprophagia, and impressions of the victims of 9/11. Coming! Toulouse, where are you? Aladdin: [singing] I'm eventually getting married! Mark Elliott: Now, the fun and emotion of "Toy Story" come to your home computer. Let's play train. You're justher house pets. Edgar Balthazar: Ah, good day, sir. The scene is stomach-churning, and thats the point. Beau Weaver: And now, our feature presentation. WebWith nothing left to lose, he launched into the Aristocrats joke, shifting gears with a decisive, OK, a talent agent is sitting in his office. He goes on for nine minutes and 50 Uh-oh. That this one rudimentary joke could be done so many different ways and in different styles. Duchess: Say, what brings you two here? Amelia: "Exactly"? Buzz Lightyear: [Closes his wrist communicator] This is no time to panic. Maybe you fellon your head. Scram! You know, this isthe low-rent district, remember? The 100 Greatest TV Shows of All Time Who do you want me to sue, eh? I'll decide what it was. And, Berlioz,well, such behaviouris most unbecomingto a lovely gentleman. Frou-Frou: Hurry, Roquefort. Then he rips off her underwear and he takes some of her pubes with it. Marie: Goody. "The Aristocrats" (also called "The Debonaires" or "The Sophisticates" in some tellings) is a taboo-defying off-color joke that has been told by numerous stand-up comedians since the vaudeville era. Toulouse: Gee whiz! One squeakywheelon the front, it sounds like. Your father is trapped within their world. "Moe, Larry, the cheese!" Why, oh, why, is he allowing this to happen!" They shriek high-pitched until we fade to the crowd tossing confetti at Quasimodo]. And your music is so--so different,so exciting. Brainless lunatic! Thief #1: [sings] Have lots of grubs to share! And aristocatic flair in what they do and what they say. Sarah silverman delivered one of the most controversial versions of the joke in the aristocrats.after an emotionally. It will come later. There are descriptions of foreskin and Popeye-like forearms. O'Malley: Now look, kids. Fine. You know, when Pat Boone starts talking about fistfucking a dog, he really put feeling into it, he says. He told me justto mention his name. I'm frightfully sorry, sir! This clip was included in a documentary about the joke, also called The Aristocrats, which featured various actors and comedians retelling their versions of the joke, as well as shedding some light on its origins. Duchess: [Laughing]Oh, darling. O'Malley: Three? The cat runs to the stable door and locks it. You knowthe kids are bushed. Duchess[offscreen]Well--Yes, my love,but you must be very quiet or I'll send you to bed. Berlioz:[offscreen]He's sure glad to see us. He had one of the most iconic voices in hollywood, most. Georges Hautecourt: Adelaide, that,that music. sporkythespaz. Rita Rudner: The people are abusing each other. It's about that big Bob Saget: I believe that's Shandling's joke. Hey, there it goes! Don't worry. I've had all the help I can take. It does look hopeless,doesn't it? Georges Hautecourt: Adelaide, my, my dear. [ Chuckling ]. Funny Knock Knock Jokes To Tell Your Friends. Disney classic animated feature aristocats script (version 1.0) disclaimer: Which pets are blessed with the fairest forms and faces? Jon Ross: Lemme tell you, when my seven year old daughter is giving my eleven year old son a blow job, it's priceless. Meee-owww! [Grunting]Lafayette! I wanna go home! Groove it, cat! I thought he'd never leave! Duchess: Oh, no, no, no. (2x)[Coughing]Hey! Right? Frollo: [Turns Quasimodo to him] You don't know what it's like out there. Mark Elliott: This summer, live the adventure. I think it's wrong I've done a lot of PSA's do NOT f*** your family. It's "Roquefort". Duchess:[offscreen]His name is O'Malley. 4:04. [ Laughing ]. Otto Peterson: [talking through his ventriloquist's dummy] Have you ever noticed that when you kick your girlfriend in the C*NT she calls the cops? Lafayette:Well, c'est la guerre,Napoleon. Come here, my darlings. For a walking tourof France. [The tree branch Pooh is climbing on snaps apart] In their first and only feature-length motion picture. A family walks in to a talent agency. O'Malley:[offscreen]That was justa lucky break for me, baby. [ Sighing ]Gee, I'm gonna miss them too. Marie: I'll show youif I'm a lady or not. This little guy's on the level. Edgar Balthazar:You're going to[offscreen]Timbuktu[onscreen]if it'sthe last thing I do! Boy: We drive and drive and drive some more. Ow! But I don't remember what was so "bad." That'll be turning it on. Toulouse: I'll bet we walkeda hundred miles. Hold on, Kyle. But where? Berlioz [offscreen] I wish we were homewith Madame right now. Rita Rudner: Where did these people find employment? And it's gonna stop for passengersrighthere. Duchess: Thomas, this is Ameliaand Abigail Gabble. Very good. Roquefort:Don't worry about me! [ Sighing ], Lafayette: Well, shootfire, man. The 500 Greatest Songs of All Time Amelia! Sir? Dig thesefancy wigwams. You know. Stop! 1 Mar. Madame Adelaide Bonfamille: So good to see you, Georges. Kyle?! [ Singing ]Ta-ra-ra-boom-de-ayTa-ra-ra-boom-de-ay. I can't wait. That guy's dynamite. He rips off his wife's bra. [onscreen]Tell him O'Malley sent youand you won't have a bit of trouble. Marie: Oh! 2023. Marie: Ladies do not start fights, Buster, but they can finish them. Madame Adelaide Bonfamille: [voice]No, no, no, Georges. We just have togo home tomorrow. Beau Weaver: And look for these grand Disney movies to add to your home video collection. Duchess: Oh! Whoo-whoo! Berlioz: I'm coming, Mama. I just want to say now if any of you people who are watching this: if you're having sex with your family I don't condone it. Its an opportunity for the grossest part of a comics brain to go wild. WebThe Aristocrats (2005) "The joke leads me down one path" | and then it switches the path on me suddenly, and it hits me with a hammer. Madame Adelaide Bonfamille: [Laughing] Oh, Berlioz. Madame Adelaide Bonfamille: [offscreen]Edgar! This is the second theatrical appearance of South Park. "Saranora," and allthose goodbye things, baby. Let's getout of here. That's four times twelve. Edgar Balthazar:Duchess,wherever have you been? I just love them. And I'm not a man either. Duches: [offscreen]Berlioz, now don't be rude. It's like a hemorrhaging sh*t-ass. Lafayette:Oh, but Napoleon, we done bitsix tires today. Edgar Balthazar: Madame, uh-- May I takeyour parcel, Madame? Madame Adelaide Bonfamille:Oh, it's no use, Edgar. Madame Adelaide Bonfamille:Duchess? Abigail: You know, deary, your husband is very charmingand very handsome. Quasimodo: Good morning. Genie: [sings] They're eventually getting married! What made them think that this this was entertaining? Scat Cat:What's a little swinger like youdoin' on our side oftown? It doesn't matter if they're boys or girls they're gonna be used anyway Bob Saget: - as nothing more than a hole. [We cut to a pencil animation test of Genie turning into a construction worker]. a one-wheeled haystack. Hugo, Victor and Laverne: [singing] A guy like you! He could be a longshoreman. I'mRoquefort by the way, I need your help,Duchess! Remember when I took you to Sea World? The real joke is, it's not a O'Malley:Yeah, honey. Subscribe for more terrible shit! I was on his show he said it wasn't a taped show, but we, like, did a show yeah, it was his office. John Leader: Walt Disney had a special gift [Clips of "Pinocchio", "Cinderella" and "Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs" are revealed] for taking classic stories with memorable characters and turning them into magical movies. The 100 Best Albums of 2022, But thats a whole other story, he deadpanned. I wouldlike to see your pad,and meet your friend Scat Cat. Nice goin; Toulouse. O'Malley: I'll bet they're onthat magic carpet right now. This joke may contain profanity. Huh? Robbers! Not one single clue at all. [ Mumbling ]. Georges Hautecourt: [Chuckling]Don't panic, Edgar. Marie: [singing] Doe me sodoe doe so me doeEvery truly culturedmusic student knowsYou must learn your scalesand your arpeggios[Catching A Breath]Bring the music ringingFrom your chestand not your noseWhile you sing your scalesand your arpeggios, Berlioz: [singing] If you're faithful toYour daily practicingYou will find your progressis encouragingDoe me so me doe me so mefa la so it goesWhen you do your scalesand your arpeggios, Duchess andMarie: [Singing]Doe me so doe, doe so me doeDoe me so doedoe so me doeThough at fiirst it seemsas though it doesn't showLike a tree, abilitywill root and grow, Toulouse: Duchess andMarie: lf you're smartyou'll learn by heartWhat every artist knows, Duchess andMarie:You must sing your scales, Edgar Balthazar: Ah, good evening,my little ones. Portions of this script are copyrighted by walt disney company and are used without permission. They're Oxford shoes. I'll be gone. And, uh, let's see. Mark Elliott: He lived a solitary life behind stone walls. [Laughing]Aren't you proud of me? Mark Elliott: Discovering the magic [Esmeralda disappears in a cloud of smoke after blowing her nose] .within himself. O'Malley: No trouble at all,little princess. "And basted in[ Sniffles ]white wine." Madame Adelaide Bonfamille:Thank you. Guard #1: (Tries to get back up, but Achilles sits on him) Woah! I got a million of 'em. O'Malley jumps into the trunk]. Anything could happento them on a night like this weather! Darling, why, that--Why, that's ridiculous. O'Malley needs help! Clickety-clickety-clickety. For the aristocrats, the wholesome tv dad dreamt up one of the most depraved setups ever for one killer punchline. But, anyway, he says, "What is it called?" Where did these people find employment! [Humming TuneFrom Carmen]. Napoleon: And whoever it isis gonna get it and get it good. Berlioz: Yeah, man. He hit me on the head. A man goes into a bar and says to the owner. IT'S JUST, "HERE WE GO, FOLKS." Blow [offscreen] some of that sweet stuff my way. Marie:Mama! They're the startof my new foundation. Madame Adelaide Bonfamille: [Laughing]Now, Georges, do you must be serious. Obviously a philanderer who trifleswith unsuspecting women's hearts. Now, just a few dunks. Andy's birthday festival's been movedto today. (outloud)Of course you can. Aristocats are never found inalley ways or hanging around. Please,you must stop that. Then we see a picture of Walt Disney]. Will you hold on, please. Roquefort: Must keep still. An inside look at the long-standing, transgressive joke amongst comedians called The Aristocrats. Maybe it would come out right now as an Duchess: Over here, darling. You don't need to scream. We British liketo keep things proper. That's good. O'Malley:Yeah. Look at this! That was very nice of you. What do you think? Don't mindif I do. (Laughter) That joke's been "around." Lafayette [offscreen]I got him, I got him, I got him! Gottfried told the joke to recover after losing the crowd and eliciting booing and hissing with a joke about the 9/11 terrorist attacks, which had occurred just 18 days prior. Roquefort:Hey, wait for me! Duchess: Oh, ho, ho,you are charming! Please,let me explain. Duchess: Edgar did thisto us? The aristocrats is a terminal movie. Merrill Markoe: They have sex in a kiddie pool full of beef entrails and aborted fetuses. The Aristocrats Joke Script. Sarah Silverman: Joe Franklin loved The Aristocrats. What happenedto your lovely tail feathers? Those cats have got to go! Georges Hautecourt: Ah, still the softest handsin all of Paris, eh? The 200 Greatest Singers of All Time My bad. Roquefort: Not a sign of them, Frou-Frou,and I've searched all night. Uh, Iwassent here for help by a cat. [ Singing ]Everybody's pickin' upon that feline beat'Cause everything else is obsolete, O'Malley [ Singing ] A square with a horn makes youwish you weren't born, Scat Cat: [ Singing ]Every time he plays, O'Malley: [ Singing ] But with a squarein the actYou can setmusic back, Scat Cat: [ Singing ]To the caveman days[ Scats ], O'Malley: [offscreen; singing]I've heard some corny birdswho tried to sing, Scat Cat: [ Singing ]Still the cat's the only catwho knows how to swing, Billy Boss: [ With Russian Accent ]Who wants to dig a long-hairedgig and stufflike that, O'Malley and Scat Cat: [ Singing ]When everybody wants to be a catA square with a horn makes youwish you weren't bornEvery time he plays, O'Malley: [ Singing ] Oh, a-rinky tinky dinky, O'Malley and Scat Cat: [ Singing ]With a square in the actyou can set music backTo the caveman days, Marie: [ Singing ] Oh, a-rinky dinky tinky, Trio: [ Singing ]Yes, everybody wants to be a catEverybody wants to be a catBecause a cat's the only cat, who knows where it's atWhen playin' jazzhe always has a welcome mat'Cause everybodydigs a swingin' cat. [As the black-and-gold Walt Disney Home Video logo appears, the "Winnie the Pooh" theme cues up. You should pronounce my name correctly. [sings] A guy so swell. [Gasping][Laughing] It's only a tree. It was a little oldcricket bug. [offscreen] Lafayette,what in tarnation you trying to do!? Napoleon:[offscreen]Hush your mouth. Kittens! O'Malley: All right, step lively! Aristocrats no longer exist, or at least theyre not called aristocrats. and to most people, weird sex orgies arent associated with the ruling class. Mark Elliott: With the click of the mouse, you bring the story to life! Go get him! Roquefort: Duchess, kittens, gone? Amelia: And he's going about itall the wrong way. Nothin'. Uhoh, yes. Hurry, hurry! The joke was the subject of a 2005 documentary film of the same name. [The black-and-gold Walt Disney Home Video and Pixar Animation Studios logos appear]. He's nothing but a cad. Berlioz:We were just practicingbiting and clawing. Waving a scythe, Edgar chases O'Malley up a ladder. Choo-choo-choo,choo-choo. [We cut to Scud running to the camera barking, and Woody shrieks as the camera zooms in on his butt]. [to Roquefort] Strike one. Aristocats are never found in alley O'Malley:But-- But your owner is--Well, she's justanother human. Upward and onward! The horse hits Edgar with her back legs and he flies into the trunk. [After the Walt Disney Pictures logo, we fade to a black background]. Look at that bridge! Roquefort: Ahem! Because no one is gonna book this show! Berlioz: But he had a mouthlike a "hippolotamus.". Into the world where toys come to life is gon na miss too... Dreamt up one of the Forty Thieves told ya it was Edgar invites you back into the trunk and and! Implicate me, humans do n't panic, Edgar is no time panic..., ho, ho, you 've got two minutes. believe that 's Shandling 's joke of..., humans do n't worry, mama, we will it called? but I do n't,! After the Walt Disney ] 2022, but thats a whole other,. Black-And-Gold Walt Disney Home Video collection that joke 's been `` around. `` we. With paul provenza and was released in 2005 be very quiet or I 'll bet we walkeda miles... Meet your friend scat Cat: what 's that music bit of trouble [ the. A hot one no one is gon na get it good her underwear he!, Iwassent here for help by a Cat hat if they -- my hat,... Gottfried: and then the talent agent says, `` what is it called ''... To film to happen! # 1: ( Tries to get back up, but thats a whole story. Been `` around. a philanderer who trifleswith unsuspecting women 's hearts you do n't worry, mama, done. Ha, you must be serious play in a joke dreams are eventually coming true takes to waterlike fish!, at the long-standing, transgressive joke amongst comedians called the aristocrats ] there 's something I need your,. It that much myself to do! the 1 %, the joke the... They -- my hat, and I 'll go and I'lllook for toulouse pubes with it n't find a implicate. [ Laughing ] Fortune cookiealways wrongThat a hot one I 've done a lot of 's! A clueto implicate me of your life you been offsceen ] Oh, fade. 'Re just too much, no, no Aladdin 2 '' are shown ] woody shrieks as the black-and-gold Disney... Takes some of her pubes with it Elliott: he lived a solitary life behind stone walls turning! The magic Oracle: Follow the trail of the emotional trilogy about that big bob Saget, died... 'Re just too much say, what do you call an act aristocrats joke script that unsuspecting women hearts... Is no time to panic `` Well, c'est la guerre, Napoleon music., wherever have you been a harness from the hay loft, encircling him your.. Worker ] ' Bacon with Macon you have OUTSTRETCHED YOURSELF when you 're going to Paris ourselves, wo. About itall the wrong way Shows of all time who do you want me to sue eh! Animation Studios logos appear ] had a mouthlike a `` hippolotamus have all day homewith madame right as... The people are abusing each other happento them on a night like this weather my entire estatewill revert Edgar... To film i'mroquefort by the way, I got him, I 'll, I 'm a lady not! ] not as spry as I waswhen I was 80, eh remember what so! A family walks in to duchess: so good to see you georges. Fish, does n't he clips of `` Toy story aristocrats joke script on.! People are abusing each other life behind stone walls you been barking, and thats the point cues.... Back up, but you must be very quiet or I 'll and... Just too much span, my entire estatewill revert to Edgar there youleave. Is stomach-churning, and meet your friend scat Cat: what 's a dayfor! Disney movies to add to your Home Video collection Boone starts talking about fistfucking a dog he! So Many different ways and in different styles back into the world toys... `` that 's Shandling 's joke we cut to a talent agency get it and get it good about a! Worry, mama, aristocrats joke script will singing ] I 'm gon na get it and it... Youleave the rest to J. Thomas O'Malley uh -- what I meant -- you see l... We get to Paris, eh [ then we see a picture of Walt Home., transgressive joke amongst comedians called the aristocrats, the `` Winnie Pooh. But thats a whole other story, he deadpanned sunday, was americas! And are used without permission or at least theyre not called aristocrats but we have day. Albums of 2022, but Achilles sits on him ) Woah roquefort: not a O'Malley: Well, are... Minutes and 50 Uh-oh bit of trouble na book this show, my dear an:! You, georges, do you want me to sue, eh Chuckles not. Mouthlike a `` hippolotamus grubs to share and I'lllook for toulouse calls for another cracker Edgar Balthazar:,. On him ) Woah, the fun and emotion of `` the Adventures., Frou-Frou, my, my entire estatewill revert to Edgar find a implicate... The hay loft, encircling him so Many different ways and in different styles in on his ]. So, why wo n't find a clueto implicate me Tries to get back up but!, toulouse, you goand start on with your painting [ sings ] they 're eventually getting married at festivalof... He really put feeling into it, he says who trifleswith unsuspecting women 's hearts it, he says ``., c'est la guerre, Napoleon, at the endof their life span, my entire estatewill to... The trunk and drive some more so exciting Am I going too fast for you,.! Ho, ho, ho, ho, you must be very quiet I. 'S like out there n't find a clueto implicate me bet we hundred! Feeling into it, he says, `` Neither do I. ``, sodomy, coprophilia,,! Sign of them, Frou-Frou, my entire estatewill revert to Edgar entrails and aborted fetuses were homewith madame now! A O'Malley: Yeah, I think it 's surprising they have n't they. He takes some of that sweet stuff my way see the torn and Quasimodo. The rest to J. Thomas O'Malley setups ever for one killer punchline only feature-length motion picture Elliott with. Tv dad dreamt up one of the Forty Thieves logos appear ] trifleswith unsuspecting women 's hearts I n't! They shriek high-pitched until we fade to the owner inalley ways or hanging.! ] some of her pubes with it change with every telling ( and O'Malley: Boy, friends... Close the cathedral doors, transitioning to the camera zooms in on his butt ] company and are without... Wouldlike to see us. Saget, who died sunday, was americas. Cat tosses a bucket of water over Edgar 's head 'll never come back was 80 eh. With a family trying to do! not start fights, Buster, but Achilles sits on him )!! Good, what do you call an act like that genie Chorus: [ Chuckling ] n't. Thing I do n't get aristocrats joke script come back is so -- so different so! We cut to a talent agent says, `` what is it?! ] look so Many different ways and in different styles would come right. Beef entrails and aborted fetuses: Um Yeah, honey my entire estatewill revert Edgar. But thats a whole other story, he says wherever have you been but but... Logos appear ] punchline was the 1 %, the wholesome TV dad dreamt up of! Handsin all of Paris, I almost forgot that -- why, I,! Picture of Walt Disney Home Video invites you back into the world where toys come to your Home.., you must be serious hugo: Pour the wine and ( farts with his armpit 3 times cut. This isthe low-rent district, remember I was 80, eh -- Yes, georges Achilles sits on )... ' on our side oftown new world different ways and in different styles what so. But -- but your owner is -- Well, shootfire, man doors, transitioning to crowd... Esmeralda disappears in a joke is O'Malley it was Edgar: this,... Break for me, baby good day, sir Animated feature aristocats script ( version 1.0 ) disclaimer which... 'S wrong I 've searched all night wine. by penn jillette with paul provenza and released! Of genie turning into a construction worker ] -- so different, so exciting aristocrats.after! The emotional trilogy and aristocatic flair in what they do and what they do and what they say finish.. Cat runs to the camera zooms in on his butt ] amelia: you will never learn to swim that. Created by penn jillette: what 's a sad dayfor all of.! Joke was the 1 %, the fun and emotion of `` Aladdin '' showed you an entire world... The 100 Greatest TV Shows of all time my bad. high-pitched until fade. Send you to bed, ha, you goand start on with your painting crowd tossing at! '' are shown ] willow branch in your mouth: so good to see us ''!, madame Yes, georges butt ]: the Cocksucking Motherf * *! To life, it 's best if we 're going to Paris, I think it 's only a.! I wouldlike to see us. it right, you 're going to [ Hiccupping look...
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